Nipples announce Parasite Appreciation Tour

Friday, July 02, 2004

Matt 'n' Dan Press, COLORADO SPRINGS, COLO. -

Comedy rock band Fuzzy Carrot Nipples announced two upcoming show dates during an appearance at the Michael Moore Donut Eating Contest in Glazednfried, Wisconsin.

Band members Matt Lupton and Dan Hedges told the press corps in attendance that they would be playing two shows in the same weekend. "We've got the Parasite Appreciation Benefit July 16th," said Lupton from a hastily-prepared statement, "at 7:30 pm at the Navajo Hogan, followed by the CD release party for Greatest Hits Live at the Dead Ant Tavern on July 17 at 8:00 pm."

"We’re breaking in a new venue [at the Navajo Hogan]," said Hedges, in his native language of English. "So we’re bracing for the possibility that a supermodel may, in a mad panic of star-struck lust, storm the stage and attempt to kiss one or possibly both of us."

When asked if such an occurence had ever happened before, Hedges paused and answered: "Well, not exactly. But these days, you have to be prepared for any contingency."

"And by golly we'll be ready," said Lupton, showing off a tube of Chapstik lip balm. "It's cherry flavored."