FCN announces Memorial Day weekend show

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

Matt 'n' Dan Press, COLORADO SPRINGS, COLO. - A stunned press corps listened in awe as the world-famous comedy rock band Fuzzy Carrot Nipples announced that they had indeed lined up another gig at the Dead Ant Tavern in Colorado Springs. The live appearance will be the band's fifth show in a whirlwind tour that kicked off last February.

"It's an intense touring schedule," said band member Dan Hedges from Austin, Texas. "But so far, we're holding up great."

A grueling tour like this one, encompassing five shows in almost as many months, usually takes a hearty toll on band members.

"Not this band," said Matt Lupton from his office in Colorado Springs.

"We're taking good care of ourselves. We've been taking in a lot of performance-enhancing foods like Twinkies and Yoo-Hoo to keep our bodies in great working order. You want me to flex for you?"

The show, slated for May 24th at 8:00 p.m., is expected to be a mind-blowing experience, the likes of which has never before been seen.

"We've been on the radio since January, and the subliminal messages we've implanted in the music are sure to have taken effect by now," said Hedges. "There isn't a brain we can't wash and fill full of instructions on how to join the FCN army. We'll be taking over the world any day now, starting, of course, with North Dakota."

Lupton agreed. "We've already had swarms of fans kissing up to us, hoping for their lives to be spared in the new world order," he said. "It's a practice we would like to encourage."