Hedges & Lupton campaign offers VP slot to John Kerry

Monday, June 28, 2004

Matt 'n' Dan Press, COLORADO SPRINGS, COLO. -

The comedy-rock sensation the Fuzzy Carrot Nipples, who made history earlier this year by announcing the first ever campaign to become United States Co-Presidents, have started yet another wave of controversy by inviting Democrat John Kerry to run for Vice President on their ticket.

"We've thought long and hard about this decision," said Dan Hedges during a campaign stop.  "The man can ski down a bunny slope.  You've got to respect that."

But Matt Lupton, who is also campaigning with Hedges, points out that Kerry has not yet accepted the invitation, nor even acknowledged the existence of the Nipple campaign.

"If he decides to accept our generous offer, he will still need to pay the application fee of $225,982.38.  But we both feel that's a small price to pay to be a part of the Nipple administration."

Kerry, also a Presidential hopeful in the Democratic party, could not be reached for comment, though a spokesperson for his campaign politely asked us never to call again.